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Joke of the Day

"I got tired of wearing my watch on my wrist.. So I tried attaching it to my belt instead.. man, that was a real waist of time."

"Cop: Ma'am, what's in the bottle? Me: Just some water. Cop: Ma'am that's wine... Me: Jesus did it again!!"

"Why did the computer crash? It had a bad driver!"

"What do you call it when the lead singer of U2 fights with himself? Bono-y-Bono"

"Why are Jedi terrible at Rugby? Because ""There is no Try."""

"Lee was born without legs, but he was incredibly determined to finish the triathlon. Slow Lee but sure Lee."

"Why did the baker get smelly fingers? Because he needed a poo."

"Why couldn't the lifeguard save the hippie? He was too far out."

"Why was the Icelandic football player called into his manager's office? He had a cavity."

"My To Do List: 1. Buy a flat screen TV. 2. Hang it on a wall. 3. Put a tub of boiling water under the TV 4. Watch ""The Ring"" and see tht bitch fall when she crawls outta my TV."