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Joke of the Day

"Why did the computer crash? It had a bad driver!"

"What did the Buffalo say when his child left for college? Bison"

"Son - ""Mom, don't get scared but I'm calling you from the hospital..."" Mom - ""Son you've been a doctor for 4 years, and you still go on with that shit."""

"In was in a bar the other day. The barman said ""I see your glass is empty. Do you want another one?"" Why the fuck would I want 2 empty glasses?"

"My mom would probably complain in my funeral about how somebody's son died better"

"My Swedish girlfriend broke up with me Now, I'm just somebody that she used to blow."

"Why can't a hand be 12 inches long? BECAUSE THEN IT WOULD BE A FOOT!"

"Why did the Pakistani cook get fired? He could only cook eggs Sunni side up and, honestly, they tasted like Shi'ite."

"My parenting book would be just a series of ""Shhh"" with different lengths and punctuation for various occasions."

"A pony walks into a bar and in a soft and raspy voice says to the bartender, Gimme a beer. The bartender says, Sure buddy, sounds like you got a cough. The pony replies, I'm a little hoarse."