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Joke of the Day
"Why couldn't the lifeguard save the hippie? He was too far out."
Next Joke
"Gonna start feeding my dog condoms, so when she poops they're already in tiny little bags!"
"If Hillary Clinton is elected as our first female President it's really going to redefine a few things for me.... ....Like the words President Bush."
"My wife and did it twice yesterday and we didn't use any protection... I'm worried we might have twins."
"Say ""Oh my God"" 5x fast, then say ""I got 'em"" 5x fast.. Have you found Jesus? Lol, jk.. But they sound pretty similar, don't they?"
"A burrito.. in a bowl? Sure that sounds great! And while you're at it, why don't you rip the blankets off me while I sleep, u piece of shit"
"Why did Waldo wear stripes? [I wouldn't know. Ask these guys.](http://imgur.com/yTGbPI0)"
"What does feminism and a pile of shit have in common? They both started out as a movement."
"What do you call a castrated unicorn? A eunuchorn."
"What was the pig when he got laryngitis...? He was dis-gruntled!"