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Joke of the Day

"A black man walks into a music store... ...and asks an employee if they have anything by 'The Doors'. To which the employee responds ""yeah, two security cameras, so get lost"""

"Woman Attacks her Husband This woman is accused of attacking her husband with several of his guitars. Judge: ""First Offender?"" Woman: ""No. First a Gibson Les Paul. Second a Fender."""

"NSFW Your dick's like Mt. Everest It's hard to get up."

"i NEVER VOTED FOR A PRESiDENT BECUZ iF iM GUNNA WASTE MY GAS THEN iT BETTER BE ON SOMETHiNG iMPORTANT LiKE DRiViNG TO CHiCK-FiL-A"

"Sometimes I'll start talking to someone on the train, then go ""Oh, this is where I get off"" then close my eyes & stick my hand in my pants."

"What do you call someone who take things literally A kleptomaniac!"

"I've come into a lot of money lately... It's a fetish I never knew I had until now."

"A few days ago my girlfriend asked if I was a pedophile. I said ""That's a very big word for a six year old""."

"If you think ""Terminator: Genisys"" is going to be bloody... ... just wait until you see ""Terminator: Leviticys."""

"Made my mom the most beautiful Mother's Day card out of my psychiatrist bills."