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Joke of the Day

"A few days ago my girlfriend asked if I was a pedophile. I said ""That's a very big word for a six year old""."

"On the bright side... We can look forward to four more years of Michelle Obama speeches from our First Lady."

"Doctor Patient 2 Doctor:What happened to you ? PATIENT:I am going to die in a minute. DOCTOR:wait I am coming with in five minutes."

"What do you call a lesbian Eskimo? Klondike"

"I will be learning Hebrew in Jew course..."

"Titanic, but with literally thousands of cats."

"Have you seen the movie, Constipated? Of course not. It hasn't came out, yet"

"Of course, ""The Situation"" isn't his real name. It's Theodore Situationson."

"Use this to start a conversation with a stranger. ""On a hot day nothing feels more relaxing then butt chugging a slushy. Say, do you have a funnel?"""

"They should make a movie where a guy takes someone's Ph.D. thesis, edits it one paragraph at a time and turns it into a completely new thesis. It should be called Ship of Thesis."