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Joke of the Day

"My bucket list is just the words ""afford things"" written in orange crayon on a paper towel."

"DATING TIP: PULL THE CHAIR OUT FOR HER. PICK THE CHAIR UP & FOLD IT. HIT HER OVER THE HEAD WITH THE CHAIR. GET THE 3 COUNT. NEW WWE CHAMPION"

"Have you ever smelled moth balls? How did you get his tiny little legs open?"

"What's the difference between a penis and a vagina.. Unfortunately, in my case ... only 2 inches. :'("

"Why was the graveyard so noisy? Because of all the coffin."

"Since lesbians eat so much pussy Should they be considered sexually snacktive?"

"Don't you just hate it when you meet a hot girl, you look her up on Facebook and find there are fucking 150 + mutual friends and nobody told you about her. Thanks a lot assholes."

"Peter: My brother wants to work badly! Anita: As I remember he usually does !"

"""Well well well if it isn't the guy I'm stalking."" ""Get out of my hamper."""

"2 bats hanging on a branch Two bats are hanging upside down on a branch. One asks the other, ""Do you recall your worst day last year?"" The other responds, ""Yes, the day I had diarrhea!"""