21471

Joke of the Day

"Don't you just hate it when you meet a hot girl, you look her up on Facebook and find there are fucking 150 + mutual friends and nobody told you about her. Thanks a lot assholes."

"What did tarzan say when he saw a herd of elephants in the distance? ""Look, a herd of elephants in the distance!"""

"What's 1+1? More than one!"

"I got my first real 6-string Bought it at the 5 & dime Played it til my fingers bled Mom sued the guitar manufacturer & settled out of court"

"[buying cucumber and vaseline] me: got an awesome night planned clerk: eugh [later, eating a cucumber and vaseline sandwich] this is awful"

"What does the right kidney say to the left one when he is mad at the other? Don't make me stone you to death.."

"What's the strongest plant in the world? Eucaliftus"

"Heard this while at a Canadian airport. Lady: We're going to the states for a few days. Oldman: I wouldn't do that if I were you. Lady: Why not? Oldman: It's full of Americans."

"I hear they finally plugged Bristol Palin. Oh, the other BP. Ok, I'll shut up now."

"What's imaginary that my girlfriend and I afraid to forget? My girlfriend"