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Joke of the Day

"""Well well well if it isn't the guy I'm stalking."" ""Get out of my hamper."""

"Every time I say that I'm ready to order in a restaurant what I really mean is that I'm not ready but the panic will help me make a decision"

"We met for coffee yada yada yada next thing I know we're in the back of my car covered in lobsters and her dog is driving us to the ER"

"There was a kidnapping at my school today... It's okay guys, he woke up."

"What do you call someone sexually attracted to plants? A ChloroPhile"

"Have you heard the one about the midget fortune teller that robbed a McDonalds? The papers the next day read, ""SMALL MEDIUM AT LARGE"""

"Why don't cannibals like clowns? they taste funny!"

"ENTER PASSWORD password YOUR PASSWORD IS TOO LITERAL PLEASE TRY AGAIN again ARE YOU KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW"

"How does a mathematician get rid of constipation? He works it out with a pencil."

"I went to the shops to get eight cans of sprite. But when i was walking back i realized Id only picked 7 up"