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Joke of the Day

"My grandpa says our generation relies too much on technology... I replied ""No, YOUR generation relies too much on technology"", and unplugged his life support."

"Someday I wish to experience the moment of joy that seems to only exist in Old Navy commercials."

"What is will? A little bitch"

"What would you get if you crossed Halloween with Independence Day? The Fourth of Ghoul-ly!"

"How do you convince your neighbor to share their water with you? Try to get a long well."

"What do you call a book club that has been stuck on the same book for thousands of years? [X-post from /r/SacrilegiousHumor] Church"

"Knights and dragons must have been the first rappers. After all, dragons spit fire, and knights slay."

"Excuse me, I'm a little short on cash. Mind if we shared a cab home?"

"Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off."

"If you're going through Hell, keep going."