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Joke of the Day

"Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off."

"Elitist Perfumers no common scents"

"New rule: Confederate States don't get to pick who sings ""God Bless America"". We'll fly someone in from up north."

"Anytime Tim Tebow contemplates... ...it's a Christian Ponder. joke courtesy Michael Starrbury"

"What clothes do lawyers wear to work? Lawsuits."

"[board meeting] ""So Mr Parachute do you have a name for your invention?"" ""I call it the 'Makes the Ground Come at You a Bit Slower'."" ""No."""

"What is something that looks like an obese vagina, loves guns, is widely hated by the Europeans and can't take a joke? An Americunt."

"Did you hear about the Iranian who punched a guy at the soccer game? Well, the Shiite hit the fan. Sorry if it's a repost. :p"

"Life sucks, I lent a guy ten grand to get plastic surgery, and now I don't know what he looks like."

"I got tired of wearing my watch on my wrist.. So I tried attaching it to my belt instead.. man, that was a real waist of time."