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Joke of the Day

"What would you say to Hitler if he was sick? Hey, ill Hitler!"

"Who was the winner of the first Tour De France? The Wehrmacht Tank division."

"Is that a burrito in your pocket or are you happy to see me? I'm cool if it's a burrito."

"I'm worried that if I give up smoking I'll replace it with murdering."

"i won 100 dollars worth of chips at the casino, all i had to do was throw a brick through the vending machine glass"

"Of course, ""The Situation"" isn't his real name. It's Theodore Situationson."

"Two Flies Are Sitting On a Piece of S#!t... ...the first fly farts. The other gives him a disgusted look and says, ""Come on man! I'm Eatin' Here!"" Boom."

"When asked about his religious beliefs, Donald Trump states that he... ""definitely believes in a higher tower""."

"can't wait to see how dudes figure out how to still get really mad at each other when cars are all self-driving"

"Donald Trump can't take any criticism... At this point he's such a pussy about it he may as well just grab himself."