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Joke of the Day

"Detective: ok forensics is finished. I'll start here and you- Dog cop: I'll mark our territory [dog cop pees around the crime scene tape]"

"My girlfriend said she wanted to get properly measured for a new a bra... I said, ""Of course, it's not your eyeliner... You don't want to wing it."""

"Why do the undead read cringe stories? Because they're already... DEAD INSIDE."

"What is the issue with Dr. Dre's releases? Chronic delays."

"Why should Steve Irwin have put on sunscreen? To protect himself from the harmful rays."

"Out of embarrassment, I just told a train passenger I'm crying cos my bf dumped me. Real reason is I'm listening to the Lion King soundtrack"

"Thank you automatic ice dispenser. I was hoping to get either 2 or 675 ice cubes."

"I don't think none of Christopher Nolan's ex girlfriends know how the hell it ended."

"What's the difference between a meth lab and a Ferrari? There isn't a Ferrari in my garage"

"Pao's reddit password leaked 123"