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Joke of the Day

"The thing I love about baseball is that it has all the excitement of football, packed into 162 4 hour games."

"How do you titillate an ocelot? You oscillate it's tits a lot"

"What sounds like a joke, but isn't funny? an anti-joke."

"If you have a parrot and you don't teach him to say ""Help, they turned me into a parrot"" you wasting everybody's time Shamelessly stolen from /r/funny"

"What type of sense of humor does rain have? -A very wet sense of humor"

"If Leonardo DiCaprio played a police officer in a movie, what would his name be? Leonardo DiCoprio"

"You know you're awesome when Facebook suggests people you have already had sex with."

"Life Advice Always keep your words soft and sweet - In case you have to eat them later."

"I just opened a Capri Sun in the dark, sup ladies"

"What's the difference between a 10 year old and a stripper? .... you better fuqing know you sick fuck!"