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Joke of the Day

"The thing I love about baseball is that it has all the excitement of football, packed into 162 4 hour games."

"What does a Mexican duck say? Guac guac"

"whats the diffrence between a tornado and a divorce in the south? nothing. sombodys losing a trailer!"

"A son asks his old man... ""Dad, are you gay?"" ""Who told you? Was it your father?"""

"What would the blind man say every morning when he walked past the fish market? ""Good morning, ladies!"""

"Twitter is the only place where it's actually BORING to discover that you are being followed by hundreds of robots."

"When people are singing Happy Birthday to me, I have no idea where to look."

"I was disappointed when it turned out the axe I bought to climb with was useless for the job... it was an anti-climb axe"

"As I was leaving home to start a new life for myself across the country my mom said"" Don't forget to write!"" I thought ""That's unlikely... It's a basic skill,isn't it?"""

"2 in 3 people live next to a pedophile I don't, I live next door to two smoking hot 8 year olds."