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Joke of the Day

"I tweet because it's fun and I like the validation, but also because one day it'll prove to a jury how crazy I am."

Next Joke
 
"Next year is going to be an odd one. credit goes to my dad."
"There was a kidnapping at school today. ... ... .... Everything's okay. He woke up."
"Hey now, gay jokes arent funny... ...cum on guys."
"I don't like anti jokes... I like uncle jokes"
"You know what I don't get? Jobs."
"*Walks into puppy store wearing a large trenchcoat* *Hurries out of puppy store in a much tighter-fitting trenchcoat*"
"If you've never had diarrhea from drinking Jack Daniels... then you don't know Jack shits."
"Let my son leave the house today wearing a striped shirt and plaid shorts. I'm done, he's natural selections problem now."
"I went to the doctor's and he asked me for a urine sample, a stool sample and a sperm sample... So I handed him my underwear."