201925

Joke of the Day

"what if plants could talk but they are still in shock from seeing the dinosaurs"

"Helen Keller walks into a bar.... And then a table. And then a chair. Another table...."

"What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on your doorstep? Mat"

"I always watch the credits at the end of a movie just to see if there's a chance I got drunk and stumbled onto the set."

"I'm in a band called ""Stuck In The Fucking Departure Lounge!"" Check us out!"

"Q: What is the difference between a Wagnerian soprano and a Wagnerian Tenor? A: About 10 pounds."

"When I remember trees are alive I like to picture their brain is the roots and the trunk and branches are its legs dangling into the sky."

"A shower so cold, you call it by your exes name"

"How Am I Doing? I'll Tell You How I'm Doing Volumes: 1-8"

"What do you say to an overworked clothing maker? You seamstressed."