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Joke of the Day

"How is being a pimp like being a farmer? You get some hoes and they get dough for you."

"Take a selfie it'll last long-wait delete that one my eyebrows look fat take another."

"*psst... ok ok be quiet... ssshhh...* uhhh... how do you sell a duck to a deaf guy? WANNA BUY A DUCK?!?! Uh... This joke isn't as good written down :-("

"18 years ago today, Will Smith and Jeff Goldblum saved our country and our PLANET from an alien invasion. Never forget"

"How did you find the weather at camp? It was easy. I just went outside - and there it was!"

"""Rock. Paper. Scissors."" - terrible surgeon"

"""What's that?"" I call it a 'knife' ""Wow, that's the best thing since bread!"" Gregory, I am about to blow your mind"

"You haven't texted me since you went to bed. Are we ok?"

"I've been making a list of reasons to move to Switzerland... the flag is big plus."

"There are 70,000 Jehovah's Witnesses in Melbourne for a conference. So I'll be answering the door naked this weekend."