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Joke of the Day

"When the priest says ""Body of Christ"" I say ""Thanks, I've been working out."" Then I grab the cracker and run back to my seat."

"Apparently Miley Cyrus called out Taylor Swift for being a bad role model It sounds like Miley has some Bad Blood."

"I think my neighbor's dog is in heat. She's been crying the last 2 nights. I may need to take one for the team if I want to get some sleep."

"[Starbucks Assassins Inc] CHIEF: Write this down. Target's name is John BARISTA: [writes] Jamie C: Ok. Memorise it B: [eyes shut] Janet"

"Gift cards are another way of saying, don't spend this on dope."

"""Rapunzel, Rapunzel let down your hair!"" *A long strand of smelly hair falls out the tower* ""Screw this!"""

"Do I want Internet Explorer to remember my password? Do you want a wild raccoon to babysit your family?"

"How did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffe before it was cool."

"Three men in a boat with four cigarettes and no matches. How do they get to smoke their cigarettes? They throw one cigarette overboard, which make the boat a cigarette lighter."

"An ad at the zoo: Don't scare the ostriches! The floors are concrete!'"