221363

Joke of the Day

"[Starbucks Assassins Inc] CHIEF: Write this down. Target's name is John BARISTA: [writes] Jamie C: Ok. Memorise it B: [eyes shut] Janet"

"I had such a great masturbation session last night... that when I woke up in the morning my dick was in the kitchen cooking breakfast."

"I got a case of beer for my wife! It was a good trade!"

"How many mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just Juan."

"My Czech mate is surprisingly bad at chess"

"My grandmother died and left me a tomato. I shouldn't have asked for any heirlooms."

"What's the best part about banging twenty two year olds? There's twenty of them."

"What's black and white all over and difficult? An exam paper!"

"Why did Princess Leia take so long to find her hair brush? She kept looking for it in Alderaan places."

"If a guy wants to call a woman ugly online a window should pop up where he has to upload pictures of all the women he's slept with"