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Joke of the Day

"Do I want Internet Explorer to remember my password? Do you want a wild raccoon to babysit your family?"

"Why is santa so jolly? He knows where all the naughty girls live. Why am I so jolly? I stole his list."

"BABY DRINK Q: How do you make a baby drink? A: Stick it in the blender."

"[sitting on park bench] homeless guy: I'm so alone me: okay wow I'm right here"

"When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than to let him keep her."

"I have my girlfriend a teeth whitening today. Too bad most landed on her chin"

"Love is like a fart If you have to force it, it's probably shit."

"[over megaphone] ""Police! We have you astounded!"" ""Jim, it's 'surrounded'."" ""No, I know but look at his face."""

"What did Helen Keller call her dog? <smashes keyboard>"

"The Pythagorean Theorem, Newton's Third Law and Bernoulli's Principle walk into a bar. The bartender says, ""I'm not going to get this joke aren't I?"""