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Joke of the Day

"What's the most emotional computer you can buy? A Dell."

"I hate when someone wants to have sex with me for superficial reasons before they even know how funny."

"There are 10 types of people: Those who understand binary code and those who don`t."

"Last night me and and my girlfriend watched three movies back-to-back.. Luckily I was the one facing the TV!"

"You know those little helmet stickers some football teams use to reward personal achievement? Bald guys should do that."

"I tried to buy a Christmas tree to put in my shed. I couldn't find one anywhere. They were all non - shed."

"I got a sweater for my birthday. I'd have preferred a moaner or a screamer. Credit to Steven Wright."

"We had gay burglars in our house last night... They broke in and rearranged all of our furniture."

"Did you hear the CEO of Twitter got in trouble for buying shares of rival companies? I guess it was a conflict of Pinterest."

"*boss at staff meeting* Hey, do you have anything positive to add to this meeting? Yeah, I just realized I can sleep with my eyes open."