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Joke of the Day

"Last night me and and my girlfriend watched three movies back-to-back.. Luckily I was the one facing the TV!"

"When a lady leaves an article of clothing at my place, I do the gentlemanly thing and put it on and parade around the house looking pretty."

"People used to laugh at me when I would say ""I want to be an actor"" Now I'm the only one laughing"

"I asked my Sushi Chef what his favorite roll was. . he said payroll."

"If life begins at conception then I can use the carpool lane for the next few days"

"My wife is a beautiful, kind & giving woman who also checks my TL."

"How did NASCAR get that name? Redneck: 'That's nascar ye got there."""

"Paula Deen is set to release memoirs about life with Type 2 diabetes It will be titled ""Paula Deen - For Butter or Worse"""

"Thinking of adopting a child. What color should I get? Keep in mind my walls are eggshell and cinnamon."

"How do you blow square balloons? Blow square breaths."