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Joke of the Day

"I got a sweater for my birthday. I'd have preferred a moaner or a screamer. Credit to Steven Wright."

"My first wife was a great housekeeper. She kept both houses"

"Proposed to my Chinese girlfriend today I proposed to my Chinese girlfriend today and she cried tears of soy."

"Excuse me, I'm a little short on cash. Mind if we shared a cab home?"

"What did the upper class Rastafari say when he walked into the bakers shop? One love me breda."

"If Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton ended up in a car crash who would be saved? America"

"Why did the chicken cross the road? I was telling jokes on his side."

"What is a Farmer's favorite pick-up line? Girl. You look so good that I wish I could plant you and grow a whole field of y'all!"

"You guys stole those words from the dictionary."

"Would the Government cope in a zombie apocalypse? Vacant, horrible, disoriented people stumbling around without purpose. Plus the zombies."