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Joke of the Day

"A friend of mine suggested I go see a psychic medium. Apparently, I needed an extra large."

"How many bass players does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Five. One."

"""This surgical knife isn't sharp,"" ...Dr. Swiftie said bluntly."

"What suicidal space creature did Kirk find on the Enterprise? A Tribble with troubles."

"Ever hear the one about the midget and the razor blade? Me either, it got cut short."

"My house is really small until I can't find my phone."

"HR: Do you know why I called you in here today? Me: I have a boyfriend HR: Ok, sorry to bother you"

"What is the difference between deer nuts and beer nuts? Deer nuts are under a buck."

"A blind man once told me, he smokes a lot because ... he got nothing to 'look' forward. Well, let just say that I 'see' his point......Ba Dum Tss!!!"

"*first astronaut lands on Mars* NASA: How does it feel son? Astronaut: Feels pretty good to be 33 million miles away from Dave Matthews Band"