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Joke of the Day
"Sleep is like my love life, I ain't getting any"
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"What are apricots? Where monkeys sleep."
"Blind Girl If a blind girl tells you your manhood is massive... ...she's probably pulling your leg."
"A man tried to find a restaurant using Apple Maps"
"What's six inches long that women love? Folding money."
"I feel as useless as a Kardashian sister's library card."
"An atheist, a vegan, and a CrossFitter walk into a bar.. I only know because they told everyone within two minutes."
"[5 mins after seeing our neighbour's new boat] wife: ""everything's a competition to you"" me: [trying to find the moon on eBay] ""no it's not"""
"A family walks into a hotel The father goes to the front desk and says ""I hope the porn is disabled."" The guy at the desk replies. ""It's just regular porn you sick fuck."""
"Ancient cryptic thrice-translated self-contradictory texts are the best way to convey moral precepts."