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Joke of the Day

"Number one handheld A recent survey indicated that smartphone is the number 1 handheld device.. Penis has slipped to number 2.."

"Getting to bed early so I can be well rested and fully alert for my morning anxiety."

"Whats the difference between american women and middle eastern women? American women get stoned before they commit adultery.."

"People who don't have a name for their newborn, What the shit did you do for 9 months?"

"What if there was a Christian version of ISIS called CHRISIS?!"

"Two fish in a tank... ...one turns to the other and says, ""how do you drive this thing?"""

"People keep telling me to start thinking for myself... I'm not sure what they want me to think about."

"Why don't witches wear underwear? To get a better grip on their broom."

"What do you call a black man flying an aeroplane?... ... a pilot, you racist fuck"

"That awkward moment when you realise you have way more internet friends than real friends."