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Joke of the Day
"I like my coffee how I like my bed. Made by someone else."
Next Joke
"Teacher: I'd like to go through one whole day without having to tell you off. Pupil: You have my permission !"
"Hell is where Sarah Palin is president, Taylor Swift is in love with me, and Kim Kardashian names all the children"
"How many bees does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but I don't know how they got in there."
"Are you all allright? No, you are all left"
"I wish I was Jesus so instead of listening to the same Christmas songs every day if the office, I could be dead."
"I have always wondered what people did for fun before the Internet existed. My seventeen siblings don't know the answer either."
"I wonder if clothes in China say ""made around the corner"""
"Yes, I am aware pigs are more intelligent than dogs. Why would I want to eat an inferior animal and absorb its lesser powers?"
"Today's workout. Light weights. 1 hour parkouring rooftops on my block. It's surprising how many people have skylights in their bathrooms."