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Joke of the Day

"I told my friend I hope to deliver a joke half as well as her some day. Sadly, we men will never know the joys of childbirth."

"How does a pirate reenact Travis Bickle's speech? Are you talking to me?"

"What's pink lives in a sty and drinks blood? A hampire."

"What did the judge ask when he went to the dentist? Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?"

"Why does Hillary Clinton not give good blowjobs? Because her teeth are too fake and big"

"How many sorority girls does it take to change a light bulb? Six. One to change it, one to take pictures and four to make t-shirts for the event."

"What does a time traveller do when he's hungry? He goes back four seconds!"

"What's the difference between a fridge and a gay man? A fridge doesn't fart when you pull the meat out."

"What do you call an elf who lost all his toys? Legolas"

"What would Matthew McConaughey eat if he were a horse? McConaugHAY"