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Joke of the Day

"One fist-bump from a cool black dude is worth 5 years of my parents loving me."

"Are you today's date? Because you're only 1/10."

"Popcorn. Potato. Frozen Pizza. Cold Coffee. James Incandenza. Defrost. Refrost. Cancer. Corn. """"Aren't these weird microwave buttons?"

"Why are gametes so popular? Because sex cells!"

"Sadly, at 8:11 PM Mark Jones was mispronounced dead. [at hospital] Doctor: I'm afraid this man has deed. Am I saying that right? He's deed."

"Most girls: ""I hangout with guys, there's less drama."" Me: ""I hangout by myself. There's no drama"

"Show me on this Russian nesting doll where the bad man hid many more, smaller versions of you"

"Did you hear about the mathematician ghost? ""No"" Well, Its the spirit that counts."

"I'm friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't know y"

"Why did the English major break up with the pilot? Because the pilot kept ending sentences with a preposition, over."