20052

Joke of the Day

"Show me on this Russian nesting doll where the bad man hid many more, smaller versions of you"

"Women's Rights... What?. did you expect more?"

"If you tickle a billionaire, will he trickle himself?"

"What has four wheels and can't support a family? A liberal arts major. I lied about the wheels."

"If I were any more hungry right now, Brad and Angelina would adopt me :("

"Happy Birthday Ray Rice! I offered to bring punch to the party but, his wife said she already had enough."

"Favourite pickup line... Did you know there will be 7 planets tomorrow? Because I am going to destroy Uranus tonight."

"I'm an okay dancer until I whip out the finger guns, then I'm just majestic."

"The Flash series must be really good... ...too bad everything happens too fast."

"Me: I wouldn't miss it for the world. Friend: It was yesterday."