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Joke of the Day

"Sadly, at 8:11 PM Mark Jones was mispronounced dead. [at hospital] Doctor: I'm afraid this man has deed. Am I saying that right? He's deed."

"Free Pussy Riot!"

"Why do gay guys like rotisserie chicken? They like the way the meat spins"

"A penis lives a sad life.. His hair is a mess, his family is nuts, neighbor is an asshole, best friend is a pussy and owner beats him."

"My girlfriend is like John Cena I can't see her :("

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Alison ! Alison who ? Alison to my radio in the mornings !"

"What do you call a boat whose captain has no idea what he's doing and works for free? The Internship"

"They say what kills you in your past life is your biggest fear in this life.. But I'm pretty sure premature ejaculation never killed anyone"

"If you can be Batman, always be Batman Some people are Jewish, some are Arabs, but I prefer to be Christian Bale."

"Getting mail addressed to ""Current Resident"" is the sales equivalent of a guy group texting ""You free tonight?"" to every girl in his phone."