223119

Joke of the Day

"My local bondage club was robbed last night... we were all left bound and gagged. We absolutely loved it."

"My cat is stuck in a Cheeto bag and I'm really pissed that I didn't think of that first."

"NSFW: Sperm 1: God I'm getting tired! How long 'til we reach the fallopian tubes? Sperm 2: Still a long way to go..........We've only passed the tonsils."

"Parenting Hack: slide a little cash your kid's teacher's way, & all of his crafts projects will ""mysteriously"" disappear after being graded."

"""Hey, it's been 6 seconds. Check your phone again."" (my brain)"

"""Dr. Oz"" sounds like the guy you'd buy shrooms from in community college."

"Sorry I missed your funeral, but in my defense, you're not coming to mine."

"I've been told I have a certain ineffable quality. But ladies, I think you'll find I'm totally effable if you drink enough beer."

"eer booze and fun!' '""Didja hear the news?"" asked Keenan of his pal at the saloon. ""Harrigan drank so much his wife left him!"" ""Bartender! Give me six boilermakers!!"""

"How is the new Meta Gear game? Its solid."