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Joke of the Day
"I feel like my parents grossly overstated the number of times I'd be offered candy by strangers."
Next Joke
"Never argue with someone who knows fancier words than you. Like 'responsibility'"
"He was very careful during bondage sessions. He always used a safe word that contained upper and lower case letters and at least one number."
"Why do ducks have webbed feet? To stamp out fires. Why do elephants have flat feet? To stamp out burning ducks."
"Knock Knock. Who's there? A lazy person. A lazy person who? You guys can fill in the rest for yourselves."
"Q: Why are crocodiles brown and flat? A: Because if they were yellow and round, they'd be lemons."
"I just saw a lit up 'Noel' x-mas decoration on top of a house and noticed the 'L' was missing, so I thought to myself, 'look, there's no L.'"
"My kids and I are exact opposites. They cry when I walk away, and I cry when they walk towards me."
"PARTYING = a simple word describing the physical expression of a state mind in which you're deeply aware of how incredible it is to exist."
"What's the difference between America any yogurt? If you leave yogurt alone for 300 years, it develops a culture."