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Joke of the Day
"Q: Why are crocodiles brown and flat? A: Because if they were yellow and round, they'd be lemons."
Next Joke
"The word of the day is legs... Spread the word!"
"What did Tanto call the lone ranger after he started treatment for cancer? Chemosabi"
"Curious about sex"
"Hey cat, how's about I lick myself for hours then puke where you sleep? Don't answer that. Why do I even talk to you. Stop looking at me."
"When are jousting tournaments most commonly held? Knight time"
"When people ask how I got the latest movies on my computer.. I respond by telling them my lovely bay with hella booty gives them to me.arggg"
"Me: We do *not* spit on our classmates! 5YO: Well, who DO we spit on, then? I miss the funny stuff my kids said when they were little."
"What the hell is almond milk? Almonds don't have titties"
"When are we gonna admit that those tools we keep by the fireplace are just for killing people?"