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Joke of the Day

"Why do ducks have webbed feet? To stamp out fires. Why do elephants have flat feet? To stamp out burning ducks."

"What's so unpleasant about being drunk? Just ask a glass of water! -Douglas Adams"

"Just saw a bird walking down the side of the road & yelled out my window, ""YOU CAN FLY, YOU STUPID BIRD,"" because I am a mature adult."

"What's Beethoven's favorite fruit? Elton John."

"Did you hear about the cannibal who came home late for dinner? He got the cold shoulder"

"A blind guy walks into a bar ... then a stool, then a chair..."

"Is it just me, or are fewer and fewer mustachioed cads tying women to the train tracks these days?"

"What's the difference between 3 dicks and a joke? (you're mom can't take a joke)"

"What do you call a black guy who flies airplanes? A pilot, you racist."

"I thought my vasectomy would stop my wife from getting pregnant. But it turns out it just changes the colour of the baby"