202276

Joke of the Day

"Why do ducks have webbed feet? To stamp out fires. Why do elephants have flat feet? To stamp out burning ducks."

"What do Dallas Cowboys fans do after they win the Super Bowl? They turn off their XBOX and go to bed!"

"Whats the difference between a mosquito and a hooker? When you slap a mosquito it stops sucking."

"I don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die."

"You drunkenly fall into one bathtub with your pants around your ankles, breaking the curtain rod and all of a sudden, everyone is a critic"

"I'm gonna call my mom 26 times today to tell her about all the nothing that I'm doing, just to even the score."

"Whats similar with a Dick and a Rubik Cube? If you play with it, it gets harder..."

"I'm on that ""I don't give a fuck diet."" I've lost 10 assholes already."

"What do you call a jewish Pokemon trainer? Ash."

"I was going to make a joke about UDP... ...but I'm not sure if you will get it!"