223017

Joke of the Day

"First Witch: I went to the beauty parlor yesterday. I was there for three hours. Second Witch: Oh what did you have done? First witch: Nothing I was just going in for an estimate."

"Whoever spelled the word Receipt was a friggin idiopt"

"My Catholic grandmother told me I had to give something up for lent. I told her I'd give up lent."

"You can't be anti-abortion AND pro-death penalty AND a unicorn."

"Whats in the middle of girl's leg ? And the answer is, 'Knee'"

"what do you call a contortionist from the Philippines? A Manila folder."

"What do you get when you cross a duck with an octopus? Fired and blacklisted from the genetics industry."

"A cheetah stalking its prey would be jealous of the way I pounce on the Skip Ad button on YT once the 5 seconds are up."

"Why did the Chicken come to /r/jokes? [To be buried](http://www.reddit.com/r/antiantiantijokes/comments/3bccyc/the_chicken_sat_far_from_the_road_considering_its/)"

"When are minorities not minorities? When you look at crime statistics."