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Joke of the Day

"Oompa Loopa Doopity Doo Here's an executive order for you..."

"Frankly auto correct, I'm getting really tired of your shirt."

"Dying husband asks his wife: Our 7th son always looked different from the other 6, did he have a different father?"" Wife (crying): Yes! Husband: Who? Wife: You! Husband Dies."

"Every time I lose a sock I like to imagine it went to set one of Dobby's house elf friends free."

"Before I criticize a man, I like to walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when I do criticize him, I'm a mile away and I have his shoes."

"Did you hear about the dating website for old people? ""I've Fallen In Love And I Can't Get Up"""

"I've been holding my stomach in for 3 years now so don't talk to me about dedication!"

"/r/jpegs A place for an assortment of quality pictures /r/jpegs"

"Fun fact: When swimming upstream, salmon can jump up as high as 6 feet. Unless its a white salmon."

"A neutrino walks into a bar... and it just keeps on going."