2230

Joke of the Day

"If someone says you're a nice person, these things will happen: 1) They will ask you for a favor. 2) You will not get laid."

"I'm only good for two things... Self-defecating and self-deprecating."

"What's black and white and can't go through a revolving door? A zebra with a spear through its head."

"ME: Not gonna make it in today. I hurt my updog. BOSS: What's updog? ME: Nothing much, prolly just gonna take a nap."

"What sound will reddit make when it blows up? Nothing, it's just a website."

"Why did the emoji fly to Syria? It wanted to become an Emojihad!"

"Roses are red... Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one doesn't"

"What did the Hand say to the Penis when they first met.... Nice to beat you!"

"What do mexicans drink in the morning? Dos Eggys"

"I feel like I'm not giving my followers enough in my tweets. Would you be interested in stock tips or free shampoo samples?"