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Joke of the Day
"Who was Tupac married to? His Thug Wife."
Next Joke
"I could understand Eve's choice to doom all of humanity if she'd been offered nachos. But an apple? My ovaries are not amused."
"What they say: ""Hey, have you lost weight?"" What they mean: ""Hey, I remember you being a lot fatter. What gives?"""
"Oops. Everyone brought their ""see you next year""s to work today and I only brought my throat slashing gesture."
"Why can't you hear the pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because the 'p' is silent"
"Just sewed together 3 bras to put on my neighbor's dog to cover its horrifying tits."
"Pro tip: Don't moan when getting a pat down at airport security"
"MAYBE PEACH JUST LIKES BOWSER A LOT AND WE'RE FOLLOWING A NARRATIVE OF MARIO THE DELUSIONAL HOMEWRECKER. *cops pull me from operating room*"
"I saw a guy with down syndrome buying a pair of jeans today. I thought to myself, ""What a greedy bastard, haven't you got enough already?"""
"Your opinion is very important to me, please remain on the line until it goes to voicemail."