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Joke of the Day

"Your opinion is very important to me, please remain on the line until it goes to voicemail."

"""Hey dude, have you ever considered being a comedian?"" Yes but everyone laughed at me."

"Case closed Cop: ""Did you kill this man?"" Me: ""No, a bullet killed him. Bullets are made of lead, which comes from the ground. The ground is part of nature. He died of natural causes. Case closed."""

"Liberals are acting like Trump is going to kill all the gays, make slavery legal again, and take away women's rights.... Like he's a Muslim or something."

"America sure is having some bad luck It's almost like it was built on an ancient Indian burial ground."

"I'm at my most NASCAR driver when I really have to pee."

"Text ""SAVEUTAH"" to 90999 and get Gary Coleman shipped to the millions in Haiti presently living without Gary Coleman."

"What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are under and dollar and deer nuts are under a buck."

"Killing mosquitoes by smashing them in mid-air as they fly by is so satisfying until you accidentally hit a person in the head."

"new antidepressant for lesbians has just been unveiled. Tricoxagan."