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Joke of the Day

"Bloody FedEx... I've been waiting all day for my punchline"

"Why can't Iron Man stay in a steady relationship? He has rust issues."

"Why can't a bicycle stand up by itself? Because it's two-tired."

"I went through three magazines on a train yesterday. I'd killed a dozen people by the time they wrestled the gun off me."

"I was making fun of some sodium chloride and ended up being charged with aggravating a salt."

"What did Cinderella say when her photos didn't arrive on time? One day my prints will come."

"The Queen shouted at some pigeons and they died. Talk about killing two birds with one's tone."

"Whats the difference between a catfish and a lawyer? One's a slimy scum-sucking bottom-dwelling scavenger; the other is a fish."

"What's the Incredible Hulk's favorite food? Smashed potatoes."

"Why did the fire fighter call off work to spend time with his friend? Because...bros before hose!"