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Joke of the Day

"I could understand Eve's choice to doom all of humanity if she'd been offered nachos. But an apple? My ovaries are not amused."

"Ever wondered why written jokes about mailmen are generally unfunny? They are all about delivery."

"How do you keep men on their toes? Raise the urinals"

"What is grey, very big and when it falls out of a tree the stove breaks? The stove."

"Why does a chicken coop have only two doors? If it had four, it would be a chicken sedan."

"People who do anal... (NSFW-ish) People who do anal are fucking assholes."

"Its cool to pee into blue toilet water and watch it turn a different color... just not when it turns purple"

"Q: What did the stamp say to the envelope? A: I'm stuck on you."

"Cop: Have you been drinking sir? Me: Medium Double Quarter Pounder meal please. Cop: Step out of the vehicle. Me: Sprite."

"How many Irish guys does it take to screw in a light bulb? 30 - One to hold the light bulb and 29 to drink until the room spins."