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Joke of the Day

"A coworker and myself had a competition to see who was more sensitive I was pretty sad I came in second place."

"WIFE: You know, you're my best friend! Am I your best friend? ME: [subtly exchanges knowing glance with our dog] Of course you are, sweetie"

"What kind of murderer has moral fiber? A cereal killer."

"What does a Oompa Loompa Rabbi have for breakfast? Orange Juice"

"Q. How did Adam and Eve feel when expelled from the Garden of Eden? A. They were really put out."

"How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? It doesn't matter because they can't change anything."

"btw I learned this tonight: DO NOT image search ""scrotum"" because people only post pictures using a medical name if there's something wrong"

"You sit quietly under a needle for hours getting a tattoo but if I touch you with my ice cold feet you let out a bloodcurdling scream."

"What do Christians and Muslims have in common They think it's a sin to use condoms when raping 5 YEAROLDS"

"A fire breaks out at a 70s themed party. The manager climbs the stage and says... Calm down, we don't want a Panic At the Disco! /r/panicatthedisco"