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Joke of the Day

"I've never used the dust pan I once bought... It's been collecting dust in the closet for years."

"My mom asked me to sit indian style... so I pulled out a bar stool."

"You must be radiating feminine mystique because every man in the cafe is looking at you, and then you realize there's a TV over your head."

"What's the hardest part to cook in a vegetable ? The wheelchair"

"Why was George Washington buried on Mount Vernon? Because he was dead!"

"What is like tomato but better? DD-WRT"

"What's the difference between a white baby and a black baby ? 20 minutes, thermostat 8."

"MOM: Story time ME: Yay! MOM: it's called ""The Little Engine that Could, but doesn't cuz he's a little shit that won't move out"" ME: mom?"

"Bob drowned... , so at his funeral we put a life jacket over his grave. It is what he would have wanted."

"Unlike the British or Australian spelling for colour/favour/neighbour, the Americans don't include u because it's all about them."