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Joke of the Day

"Breakfast I went to a restaurant that serves breakfast at any time. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance."

"Q: Why is Chelsea Clinton a miracle child? A: Because lawyers use their personalities for birth control."

"I used to go to New Years Eve parties I still do, but I used to too! -Mitch Hedberg style-"

"She said yes.. Unfortunately the question was 'is this definitely rape'"

"Beaver 1: our house has been flooded... Beaver 2: dam"

"People say Donald trump is inexperienced as a politician... But he's the best damn liar I've ever seen!"

"[The mid 20s catch up] ""What are you drinking, who you seeing?"" [The midlife catchup] ""Who's your therapist, what are you taking for it?"""

"The Brooklyn Nets"

"I told my boyfriend that a penis is like a nipple They are shaped sort of like a nipple, they sometimes squirt white stuff, and it's an erogenous zone. He said ""yea, and mine feeds babies."""

"I'm so sick of this debate. Of COURSE, the chicken came first! Are you saying I don't know how to properly fuck a chicken?"