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Joke of the Day

"I'm so sick of this debate. Of COURSE, the chicken came first! Are you saying I don't know how to properly fuck a chicken?"

"Who makes a drinking sound like this *makes drinking sound*? GEORGE GRASHINGTON!"

"Take a look at trending topics and you'll realize why they have to write ""do not eat"" on dry silica packets."

"I once had a dog, that no matter what I tried to teach him, he only ever learned the the command ""shake"". He had Barkinson's disease."

"What state do the most math teachers come from? Mathachusits!"

"I've never met a black person that didn't have a cool nickname."

"Why don't the people of Pompeii like volcanoes? Because they're all dead. As told by my best friend, in light of the Indian joke."

"Never give a baby alcohol unless you want him to go on and on about, ""the blacks."" Racist fucking babies."

"Sometimes, when I think about books I touch my shelf"

"What do you call more than two English blokes masturbating? A Union Jack."