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Joke of the Day
"I was asked to grade Caitlyn Jenner I went with a D-"
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"What's the difference between a tumblrite and a coprolite? Their age."
"Pro Tip: If you are under the age of 35, don't get married. If you are over 35, don't get married. If you are 35, don't get married."
"Have you seen Stevie Wonder's house? ...neither has he!"
"me: [comes running down the stairs with a baseball glove] robber: why are u wearing a glove me: I meant to grab my bat lol robber: lol"
"Who says time travel doesn't exist and we can't go back in time? America just did."
"Words I thought I would never have to yell from the kitchen into the living room: ""DON'T GIVE THE CAT SCOTCH!"""
"When I wear those trendy sports bras with a million straps I get stuck in them like a seagull in a six pack ring"
"You know that awesome feeling when you finally understand a word problem in math class? Me neither."
"The Biggest Joke of 2016 Mariah Carey's Performance at Dick Clarks Rockin New Years Eve"