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Joke of the Day

"me: [comes running down the stairs with a baseball glove] robber: why are u wearing a glove me: I meant to grab my bat lol robber: lol"

"What do you call the largest angle? A Kurt Angle."

"What is the difference between an onion and a hooker? I always cry when I cut an onion"

"flight attendant: as u can see the captain has turned on the no murdering sign [guy next to me is still murdering someone] me: um excuse me"

"What happened to all the Paul Walker jokes? It seems like they started going pretty fast, then just...stopped."

"""I know it doesn't look good on paper, but hear me out guys, Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na BATMAN!!!!"""

"Why is does a chicken coop have 2 doors? Because if it had 4 doors it'd be called a chicken sedan. (better if saying it out loud because of the spelling of coop/coupe) ;-;"

"Hitting on a girl at a bar.... She keeps telling me ""Dan, I'm bisexual, I'm bisexual."" I say ""That's great. I buy sex too. How much?"""

"what do you call 6 hwy workers and 6 lesbians on the side of the road? a dozen people that don't do dick."

"What did the poacher get when he saw the Northern White Rhino? Shot."