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Joke of the Day

"You make every other name that comes up on my phone a disappointment."

"What's the difference between an onion and a prostitute? When I cut up a prostitute i don't cry."

"Turns out, humans aren't the only ones who have trouble with homonyms. My dog keeps saying ""rough"" instead of ""ruff""."

"How do you kill 20 flies? Slap an african in the face"

"Knock knock jokes Didn't go down well at the homeless shelter."

"What were the protestors outside Erin Andrew's court house shouting today? White Nudes Matter!"

"16: My friend is coming to get something while we're gone. Me: Should we leave a key? 16: No, she'll just go thru the doggie door again."

"A bear walks into a bar. When he get to the bar he says ""I' ll have a rum and.......coke."" ""Why the long pause?"" asks the bartender. The bear replies ""Well, I am a bear"""

"I had a crazy dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram. I was like, 0mg!"

"Yo mamma is so ugly... I don't understand your Oedipus complex."