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Joke of the Day
"I had a crazy dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram. I was like, 0mg!"
Next Joke
"Here's to tits! ...Cause No one ever said ""I want to cum on her nice personality"""
"Thanks for painting the cell towers green so they look like trees, California, but can you paint the homeless like pavement next?"
"What do you call a clown and a crook rolling in feces? The US elections."
"[first day as Tour Guide in History Museum] ""And if you look over here you'll see a lot more really old shit."""
"[Gameshow] Host: ""You are one question away from our grand prize. How do you feel?"" Me: ""With my hands."" Host: ""Correct!"" *crowd goes nuts*"
"How do you know you're girlfriend is getting too fat? She can fit into your wife's clothes."
"I love the word ""Allegedly"". You can make up anything about anyone without any reprisal... allegedly."
"*God provides manna from heaven* ""Is there gluten in this?"""
"*throws caution to the wind* *blows right back into face*"