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Joke of the Day

"A quote from the Father of Invention. Hi Invention, I'm Dad."

"Why does Barbie hate Amazon? because they're always putting sales out on ken-dolls."

"Helping my 5yo with his homework. Does anyone remember how to write the alphabet? Like with a pencil?"

"She's so ugly, the fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down."

"Do you have holes in your socks? You don't? Then how do you put your feet in?"

"I bought a fleshlight today My masturbation has gotten out of hand"

"Never share secrets with bank employees, they're all tellers."

"How does an atheist start their prayers? To Whom It May Concern"

"I saw santa fucking my mom. To get back at him i decided to poison his cookies. Somehow the bastard found out and killed my dad."

"If Christian Bale has never cancelled a date and said ""sorry to Bale on you"" then I don't think he is living life to the fullest."