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Joke of the Day
"A quote from the Father of Invention. Hi Invention, I'm Dad."
Next Joke
"An apple a day Keeps the government away"
"Wait...you said JAZZ hands? Oh god. I totally misheard you. Please get me a towel."
"What is Australian cuisine called? Prison Food Source: 8 out of 10 Cats does Countdown"
"Fired from my court room sketch artist job, for putting thought bubbles on people's heads saying ""The court room sketch artist is so hunky."""
"Shutdown Apocalypse Update: GPS is down. Using a refrigerator magnet as a compass. I think it's just pointing to another refrigerator."
"The Tomato Pastor began his sermon to the Salad Congregation ""Lettuce pray"""
"One alternative to having kids is to hire two people to sit in your car and start a loud argument every time your favorite song comes on."
"Why is the magnet on medication? Because it's bipolar"
"Some people call it anal bleaching, but I prefer to call it changing my ring tone."